Heeeello Stranger...

Hey there, sorry I haven't posted in a while...

You know the old saying, things to do, people to see!??!?!

Well no, in my case it was... Things to do, people to avoid!!

lol Better I kept my mouth shut than risk fighting with people who wouldn't be able to handle what I had to say to them lol
BUT NOOOOOOOOOW let my fingers do the talking *coughs* thats what she said *cough cough*
LOL I apologise now... I am tired and very dilusional so I'll be making jokes that no one is going to understand but while im writing and cracking up laughing, it's working for me so suck it up :P

So... where do I start???  Lets start with the gorgeous husband who I forgot what I nicknamed him on here... ummmm B??? Or caveman? or ANNOYING??? lol jus kidding :P Anywho...

If there is one thing that will get my blood boiling it's when someone upsets/hurts/angers him and yes I know he is a grown man but he is my husband and it pisses me off.... I dont care who it is who hurts him, even family... It pisses me off!!

We held Gaga's naming day recently and it was so great to see how many people were there and who cared about him :D He is one very lucky boy to have such great people around him!!

Oh man, so much has gone on I really dont know where to start lol Or should i rephrase this as "i dont know who to offend first" muhahaha

I really think that in the last two weeks I was being pushed to see how far I could go before breaking... and because im awesome, i didn't break... But lets just say that my appointment with the shrink couldn't of come at a better time LMAO

Ok dot points....
 1, Parenting!!
2, Break Ups
3, Kids
4, Farewells
 and I think that will cover it for now...

SO 1..... B and I have reflected a lot on what sort of parenting style we would like to raise Gaga with... one full of love and sarcasm and as little blood as possible... It's amazing to see how you grow up into your own personalities and how some traits stick around from the people who have raised you and what traits you refuse to carry on because quite frankly... they are SHIT!! lol How is it that the children seem to have more common sense and better morals than their "wiser" elders... and that beautifully brings me into dot point number.....

2..... Oh really, you've split up??? Oh thats a shame.... 1 month... 2 months.... Oh really you're still talking the same shit as you were when you first split up? Honestly, no one wants to invite the person to the party who is just gonna whinge whinge whinge all the damn time... If you can't get over something, then dont come!! Dont come to the party and make everyone else miserable to!! Yeah yeah blah blah to the nay sayers who are thinking "but if they dont talk about it then they will get depressed... blah...."
And that is my problem how??? Im trying to have a good time lol I dont go to someone's party and just talk about my shit all day... no one really cares!!
You will get the odd person who might get stuck talking to ya because they are too nice to just up and leave but soooooorry... That aint gonna be me... How about you grow up and pull ya head out of your highschool arse and just get on with life....
She left aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages ago... deal with it, I HAVE !! lol

Noooow 3..... Kids are little sponges... they will take in everything that is going on around them, especially peoples negativity!! In the last few months I have felt sorry for the kids who have no choice but to deal with abuse, homophobia, racism, anger and dipshits... oh no, im the one who has been dealing with the dipshits lol Even if I hated the old lady across the road I would never pass that hatred onto Gaga... he needs to make up his own mind that she is a loser... and trust me HE WILL lol!!
Please people, leave your kids out of your mess!! You were lucky enough that they were born, dont screw it up but screwing them up!!
In saying that... I will raise my son the best way i know how and will not make excuses for the choices I will make... like swearing... yeah im still swearing around him... But when you do it in a higher pitch then its all smiles on his end ;) ;) Parenting 101 lol

and finally.... 4..... :(
My mumma left me today, after being here for over 4 months... the grey nomads have left the state to move on to their next adventure... I really loved having them here, especially my mumma!!
It sucks when you get used to someone not being around and then they are physically there... and then they go again, ay yaa yaaaaa!! Oh well, they are only 6 hours away!! I know Gaga will miss them tho :(

AND so, for my finale...
I've been all over the shop tonight with this blog, hopefully next one I'll stick to one subject and really get into the nitty gritty of it all and have the harsh sarcasm you all seem to like so much instead of just this rambling....

Ok im going to bed... lets see how much hate mail i'll have when I wake up....

xoxox
Mumma J

Naaaaw Butterfly...

So i thought I would just write a quick post tonight, I dont plan on actually writing one every day (even tho it has already worked out that way lol) as I would run out of things to say and I'll end up just writing OMG gaga did the biggest poo today and nooooo one wants to hear that lol

What did you all get up to on this beautiful day?

B had a RDO so he was home all day with us and then Butterfly came around mid morning and I tell ya what, that woman is so beautiful.. Inside and Out!

All of the shit we have been through individually and together over the years would be enough to write a series of stories that we would release on paperback... We all know paperback books are the best to read lol

I love that it isn't forced and that when we catch up we dont feel the need to have to "entertain" each other.

Like if we go to each others houses we just get up and get our own drinks if we are thirsty and that sorta stuff... Although, she still knocks when she comes to the door which I dont understand so now some of the times I just sit here really quiet until she walks in and then say "OMG IM NAKED" so she starts apologising and facing the door LMAO oooooh so funny... hang on, i guess that's entertaining lol

She definately is one funny lady and so much fun to pay out lol
Love ya guts girly and thank you for everything you have done today and especially in the last 15 or so years!!

Mumma J
xoxox

Calling All Victims...

I have had a fantastic day today and because of that this blog will not be as full of sarcasm and wit as the others because quite frankly I seem to write better when im a little cheesed off lol and now your all probably wishing from now on that I have bad days lol

Certainly is amazing how only a few days ago I was thinking about running away from home and now it's the last thing on my mind... Parenting must be a form of Bipolar lol

Completely off topic now but I was just watching the news about a guy who endangered others by having sex while he knew he had HIV. That's some pretty messed up shit, but that's not what got me mad to write this blog about it. It was the fact that for his defence they are using the reason of him having a bad childhood as to why he was unstable and did this... *coughs* BULLSHIT *cough cough*

One of my biggest pet hates is when people blame their upbringing on how they act in the present and the future!
Ummm no sure if you've noticed dipshit but that's the past and you don't need to make decisions based on that!

One snippet of a quote by his lawyer was "his father was an alcoholic and would take his anger out on the defendants mother" oh Boo Hoo, how does that make it ok for him have sex having contracted HIV and endanger other peoples lives?

There is a reason why it is called "the past" and yes I understand that some bad shit happens sometimes but only you can change it and everyone has a choice on their actions for the future.

If we could all blame our past on things we do now then I could also contract HIV and have sex with others and blame it on my dad LMAO!! Yes, most of you all would probably not find the funny side in that but oh well, I laugh at everything and talk about everything and maybe that is why I am so damn crazy but so well adjusted at the same time lol

I just dont think that someone should be allowed to get away with something so serious on the basis of what has happened to them in the past! Way to many people are jumping on the mentally unfit bandwagon these days, and while that is a good ride most days, in the end its only gonna result in white jackets and padded walls.

Pleeeease people... regardless of what has happened to you in the past, and even if you are struggling to deal with it currently, just ask for help and sort ya shit out. In the last year I have heard of 4 major court cases getting thrown out and they have blamed it on the defendants upbringing... this isn't good enough!!
We write our own stories and yes sometimes they are horror's and thrillers in the past but that is no excuse not to make them comedies!!

Ok I have rambled on enough about people being "victims" and me giving them this time of day is only making it worse lol Oooooh and don't even get me started on the fat people who cry on shows like oprah and stuff because they are fat... lol I'll save that one for another blog entry... it will certainly be a BIG FAT one LMAO Oh i crack myself up lol

Mumma J
xoxox

Back to Normal?!?!

What is normal?

How can anyone say that how you act or what you do or who you are is "normal"???

Im certainly not normal and I'm proud of that lol

Embrace the craziness!!

Gaga is back to his usual crazy self today, loving reading books (yes that's right, he can already read at 3 months... wooooow lol) and playing on his dinosaur mat so we have a happy household today YAAAAAAY :)

Haven't done too much today, (apart from having the grey nomads come to visit) obviously if I'm already writing a blog. Most housewifey type people would probably be cooking dinner or doing some household duties for when the bread winner/hero/husband gets home from work... luckily my caveman is on a later shift so I have a few more hours before I need to move a couple of things to make it look like i've done something today. Plus, that caveman of mine needs a bigger club to be able to whip me into line... minds OUT of the gutter people!!! lol

But I thought I would tell you about my assembling skills... *coughs*
I am having a "drinks break" at the moment while the little one's highchair is half assembled, and by half assembled I mean... I put in the axle rod and it got stuck and now I cant get it out lol so i have no choice but to sit here and laugh at myself!! BUT I have no hesitation in putting it back in the garage as it is just so my husband (we shall call him B) can't come in and fix the problem i've created... I worked hard to get myself in this mess and I want to continue to laugh at myself in this mess until I can fix it!! Yes people, my pride is as big as my bootaaah  some days :D

Anywho, I better go now, I need to go back through the box and try and find the booklet that tells you what to do when shit goes wrong and things are stuck in places they shouldn't be... I know a few people who could use that book in their personal life come to think of it... Im always looking out for others ;) LMAO


Mumma J
xoxox

Gaga - Friend or Foe??

So last night when I was getting ready for gaga's bedtime i was getting even more frustrated at the fact that I would be up in 3 hours by him whinge whinge whinging which is what he has been like for 3 days straight now... Whinge whinge whinge, burp fart burp!! AY YAAA YAAAAAAA

Gaga must of picked up on my frustrations and was scared to sleep as when I woke up at 6 am after putting him to sleep at 11pm I was in absolute shock!! 7 hours... 7 HOURS..?..?

After having a good sleep which i didn't know I was having, I was in great spirits today!! Better than the blubbering mess I was at the doctors yesterday lol

I had some awesome visitors who came over and just generally made my day, Boobs Magee and N, and of course Foxy and Baby La Roux!! Boobs Magee was great and just did a few odds and ends around the kitchen while i was cleaning up the lounge a little (and by cleaning I mean... picking up stuff and throwing it onto my bed)... Then it was just great to sit down and talk to both the girls about how some days being mum is just freaking difficult and you wanna give up. It's so hard to explain to someone, who doesn't have kids that even tho you wanted this precious bundle of joy that there are days when you also want a refund and maybe even a little cash back for your time you have committed. Before you have the baby everyone tells you some of their stories and you think "oh no way, it cant be that bad, they are so cute"... Gaga is the most amazing little man I have ever met and in the three months here it would only be a handful of times I have felt like this, (this week being one of them :)
I thought the antenatal classes were great but now im thinking they needed to give more information on how much the baby really want's of you and needs you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the time (not like me to exaggerate lol)
I think they need to have classes on "what happens when you bring the devil - sorry i mean - child home"
and maybe a 30 day exchange policy even if you lost the receipt...

I love the little man soooo much but SOMETIMES it get's to the point where you start to ask yourself, how much could I get for them on the black market???

Mumma J
xoxox

mmmm Boobies!!

Sooooo, i'm back already :) Miss me??? lol
Let's cover the topic of breastfeeding hmmm....

If you don't want to breastfeed, then don't! Each to their own, everyone has a choice and there is no reason why someone should be judged for how they choose to feed their baby... atleast they are being fed, which is the most important thing!

But I will go postal on the next person who says to me "oh you're lucky that you got to breasfeed" or "I wish i could of breastfed as easily as you have"....

It has nothing to do with luck and it certainly isn't easy!!

I believe that people have a warped view on breastfeeding because its "natural and so much easier"! Maybe once you are a well established feeder then it gets easier but the fact of the matter is, it is hard work.

Milk coming in, the boobs so full you can feel the stretch marks screeching for mercy, blisters, cracked nipples and thats just the things you're guaranteed to come across without delving into thrush, mastitis and all the real nasty stuff! As far as im concerned putting your baby on formula seems to be "so much easier"!!

There seems to be a big gap...

IN THE REEEEEED CORNER, WEARING MATERNITY BRA'S AND BREAST PADS... THEEEEE BREASTFEEEEEDERRRRRS!!!

AND IN THE BLUE CORNER, CARRYING BOTTLE WARMERS AND STERILISING EQUIPMENT... THEEEE BOTTLEFEEEEEEEDDEEERRRRSSS!!

Just like any religion there are extremists for both sides and it doesn't seem often enough that there is people in the middle in the nice grey area.

You have the extremist bottlefeeders who think breastfeeders are just out to cause a scene if someone asks them to not feed (which is actually illegal fyi) and makes every excuse on why they couldn't breastfeed.

Then you have the extremist breastfeeders who think bottlefeeders are the scum of the earth and that it should be made illegal and there are NO excuses to not breastfeed!

At the end of the day, like i said previously, the babies are being fed and thats all that matters so everyone just needs to get off their high horse and reeelaaaaaaaax!!

So to finish off this post i'll go back to what i was originally saying.... do not say to me, "oh you're a lucky one"... babies are hard work and you will get challenges whatever way you choose to feed but breastfeeding is hard work and it has nothing to do with luck, it is sheer determination and will power as to why I have exclusive fed Gaga for 3 months now.
I wont have someone take that away from me by assuming its "luck" and not recognise that I have done a fucking amazing job to get mr porky pie to nearly 7 kilos in 3 months!!

lol Top Quality Boobie Milk right there baby... NOW, who wants icecream???? LMAO

Mumma J
xoxox

Welcome to the Circus!!!

Ok so I have decided to start a blog, just to let everyone know all the highlights and vent the frustrations of my days as a new mum!!

Maybe I should start with a bit of a back story on who I am and how the hell I got to this place of writing a blog thinking MILLIONS of people are going to read it when infact deep down I know maybe a few family members and friends might read it when i tell them about it!!

Hi, My name is Jaxy and I'm an alcoholic lol (not really), I am a 27 year old first time mum and the little champ (We shall call him gaga) has just turned 3 months... And so my story begins!!

Up until November I was working night shift. While everyone else slept, I was planning how gaga and myself would take over the world!! It was going to be fantastic!!

On the 7th of December, Gaga made a very spectacular entrance (while i was pushing, he must of been talking to someone upstairs and organised a massive storm to add to the dramatics). Thunder and Lightning are a great soundtrack to really work hard too ;)

The first three months have been the most amazing and in all honesty... crazy time of my life!!
No one ever honestly tells you about what happens AFTER the baby has arrived apart from "oh you will lose sleep" and "you just can't stop staring at them"... Ok, this ice queen can admit that she does a lot of the time find herself just staring at the baby BUT I will not let you believe that, that's all you do when you have a newborn.. It definately isn't all roses and puppies... Maybe puppies that like to play in manure?? Certainly are cute but you can't deny how much they stink and how annoyed you get when they wipe shit all over you!! LMAO

Some of the list of things you can expect (or what I have experienced) are Tears, Pain, Laughter, Staring, Happiness, Sadness, Joy, Devotion and Love... and I can tell you right now that staring at your baby is definately not on top of that list.
Especially in the first 12 weeks!!
I love how all the "suburban experts" think because I have a baby, that they have a right to shove their opinion in my face. I do find this quite amusing and as they speak im just smiling and politely nodding while thinking "oh crap I need to get a few things at the shops" and then I continue to write a mental grocery list while they keep blah blah blah'ing lol

This blog will be about my ups and downs, not just as a mum but as a woman who does not understand a lot of the way some people think and just someone trying to get by day by day with as many laughs as possible (but of course there will be some tears....maybe.... if i admit it)

So yes, I have a lot to say and some days I have the time to write it and others I dont, so im going to be awesome to follow as you will have nooooo idea when I'll repost lol
I can feel one coming on very soon tho lol

Mumma J
xoxox